I didn’t need my doctor to give me the bad news. I knew I was officially having a melt down! I had no control over it, I didn’t want this to happen to me, I wanted life to stay the same….but the cheese had moved.
I certainly felt like my work-life balance had disintegrated before my eyes and I didn’t care if I never went back to work again. But there was so much that I was responsible for in my professional life. Talk about a stressful situation.
I decided to put all work stuff out of my mind during the weeks ahead. I concentrated on some hobbies at home, made the most of Christmas and mentally prepared myself for the next step to come that would help resolve the work trauma. I got my house in order before I tackled my career.
The boss wanted me to attend formal mediation sessions with the other people who were involved. Yay – finally a road that would hopefully lead to recovery and one that would definitely pave the way for me to get my feelings out there in a rational way. Well I hope all would be rational!
I figured that I needed to do some real preparation for the mediation sessions. I wanted to be on top of my game. I wanted a positive outcome. But I couldn’t get rid of the negative feelings. These were people I had strong relationships with and whom I had known for more than 10 years. But it was time to not take things personally – this was business.
I went to my first mediation session to give my view of the events that led to my melt down. I hadn’t been involved in anything this intense before. However I had a really bad vibe from the woman who was the mediator and immediately felt that I wasn’t going to get anything out of this process.
Then my brain suddenly clicked into gear………what was I thinking – I had to keep my job, I had to repair these working relationships and I had to feel better about myself.
So was I going to get caught in the mousetrap or would I be able to find the new cheese in my life?
Time would tell.